Monday, April 19, 2010

Home Suites Home

My home is located in a lovely neighborhood in West Knoxville. I am not located in that lovely neighborhood. I am living in Turkey Creek, Knoxville’s equivalent of the Las Vegas strip. While most of the repairs to the house have been completed, the granddaddy of them all – the floors – still have to be refinished. This is a lengthy process. This is a dusty process. This is a process that requires me to live in a hotel for the next little while. I am not thrilled about this plan. I am, however, trying to look for the bright side, the silver lining, the upshot. To help me with this process, I have decided to make a “pro” and “con” list. I share this with you tonight:

Pro: There is a waffle maker on the breakfast bar every morning.
Con: Waffles every morning makes one fat.

Pro: There are men in tiny swimsuits sunbathing at the pool all day.
Con: One of them is likely the Missing Link.

Pro: I wanted us to have more family togetherness.
Con: Not this much togetherness.

Pro: I can see Target from my house!
Con: I can also see (and hear) I-40.

Pro: If we were in New York, this would be a very large apartment.
Con: We are not in New York.

Pro: My suite is professionally decorated.
Con: By blind six year olds freeze-dried in 1992 with an unholy love of hunter green.

Pro: A nice lady makes up my bed every day.
Pro: She must have a nice husband, too. She has on diamond earrings just like mine!

OK, in all seriousness, unlimited supplies of Neutrogena products and fresh clean towels every morning aren’t bad. I also have to remind myself that the floors at the house are going to look great, and since the pantry is cleaned out anyway, it’s going to get a nice paint job and better shelves. I just may thank Davis for the destruction after all. In about twenty years.


  1. Enjoyed touring the new Taylor "home" today! The furry sunbathing dude at the pool was the piece de resistance! Thanks for always making me laugh. I do believe you are due for a new pair of bigger diamond earrings, Mrs. Taylor!

  2. Oh my!!! Love reading the post though!

  3. I do hope your "tent in the wilderness" comes complete with a remote control bolted to the dresser. Now that's classy, baby.

  4. HA HA HA HA HA HA!!! just view this as a mini vacation... you will have something to laugh about in a few years :) Oh how i love my little man!! At least you are being a good sport... you should bring your coffee maker from home.. i find hotel coffee to be gross...


  6. Your NASCAR interview was hilarious!!!! Really enjoy your blog.