Home Suites Home

My home is located in a lovely neighborhood in West Knoxville. I am not located in that lovely neighborhood. I am living in Turkey Creek, Knoxville’s equivalent of the Las Vegas strip. While most of the repairs to the house have been completed, the granddaddy of them all – the floors – still have to be refinished. This is a lengthy process. This is a dusty process. This is a process that requires me to live in a hotel for the next little while. I am not thrilled about this plan. I am, however, trying to look for the bright side, the silver lining, the upshot. To help me with this process, I have decided to make a “pro” and “con” list. I share this with you tonight:

Pro: There is a waffle maker on the breakfast bar every morning.
Con: Waffles every morning makes one fat.

Pro: There are men in tiny swimsuits sunbathing at the pool all day.
Con: One of them is likely the Missing Link.

Pro: I wanted us to have more family togetherness.
Con: Not this much togetherness.

Pro: I can see Target from my house!
Con: I can also see (and hear) I-40.

Pro: If we were in New York, this would be a very large apartment.
Con: We are not in New York.

Pro: My suite is professionally decorated.
Con: By blind six year olds freeze-dried in 1992 with an unholy love of hunter green.

Pro: A nice lady makes up my bed every day.
Pro: She must have a nice husband, too. She has on diamond earrings just like mine!

OK, in all seriousness, unlimited supplies of Neutrogena products and fresh clean towels every morning aren’t bad. I also have to remind myself that the floors at the house are going to look great, and since the pantry is cleaned out anyway, it’s going to get a nice paint job and better shelves. I just may thank Davis for the destruction after all. In about twenty years.