Monday, April 19, 2010

Home Suites Home



My home is located in a lovely neighborhood in West Knoxville. I am not located in that lovely neighborhood. I am living in Turkey Creek, Knoxville’s equivalent of the Las Vegas strip. While most of the repairs to the house have been completed, the granddaddy of them all – the floors – still have to be refinished. This is a lengthy process. This is a dusty process. This is a process that requires me to live in a hotel for the next little while. I am not thrilled about this plan. I am, however, trying to look for the bright side, the silver lining, the upshot. To help me with this process, I have decided to make a “pro” and “con” list. I share this with you tonight:

Pro: There is a waffle maker on the breakfast bar every morning.
Con: Waffles every morning makes one fat.

Pro: There are men in tiny swimsuits sunbathing at the pool all day.
Con: One of them is likely the Missing Link.

Pro: I wanted us to have more family togetherness.
Con: Not this much togetherness.

Pro: I can see Target from my house!
Con: I can also see (and hear) I-40.

Pro: If we were in New York, this would be a very large apartment.
Con: We are not in New York.

Pro: My suite is professionally decorated.
Con: By blind six year olds freeze-dried in 1992 with an unholy love of hunter green.

Pro: A nice lady makes up my bed every day.
Pro: She must have a nice husband, too. She has on diamond earrings just like mine!

OK, in all seriousness, unlimited supplies of Neutrogena products and fresh clean towels every morning aren’t bad. I also have to remind myself that the floors at the house are going to look great, and since the pantry is cleaned out anyway, it’s going to get a nice paint job and better shelves. I just may thank Davis for the destruction after all. In about twenty years.

6 comments:

  1. Enjoyed touring the new Taylor "home" today! The furry sunbathing dude at the pool was the piece de resistance! Thanks for always making me laugh. I do believe you are due for a new pair of bigger diamond earrings, Mrs. Taylor!

    ReplyDelete
  2. Oh my!!! Love reading the post though!

    ReplyDelete
  3. I do hope your "tent in the wilderness" comes complete with a remote control bolted to the dresser. Now that's classy, baby.

    ReplyDelete
  4. HA HA HA HA HA HA!!! just view this as a mini vacation... you will have something to laugh about in a few years :) Oh how i love my little man!! At least you are being a good sport... you should bring your coffee maker from home.. i find hotel coffee to be gross...

    ReplyDelete
  5. OMG LOVE THE BLOG GOT A GMAIL ACCOUNT JUST TO ADD A COMMENT:)

    ReplyDelete
  6. Your NASCAR interview was hilarious!!!! Really enjoy your blog.

    ReplyDelete